A Different Kind of Writing
Back in 2004 and 2005 I participated in a contest with one of the film making forums I’m heavily involved with. The idea was to form groups of three forum members scattered throughout the world. These groups were chosen randomly, and then each member had an assigned task. One would write a short screenplay, one would direct and film it, and the third would edit. All of the entries were then judged by the forum members and critiqued for the benefit of experience.
This contest was held twice, and I entered both times as a screenwriter. Now, I’ve written numerous short stories and poems in my life, but I’d never before attempted a screenplay. I had to do a ton of research on the format and style of writing that was necessary, and I learned a great deal about it. In the process, I found that I love writing screenplays, because the format lends itself to my visual style of writing. The downside for me is, at least in the terms of these contests, is that the films were limited to ten minutes, so the screenplays had to be short. That was my challenge; getting all my thoughts whittled down into a manageable length. I found it exhilarating.
After talking with my good friend Sra and her boyfriend Ian the other night, I was reminded of these little bits of writing, so I thought I’d share one of them with my readers here at sovknight.com. What follows is the second screenplay I wrote. I had high hopes for this one, because I thought the visuals would have been very compelling. The director assigned to my group lived in New York City, and he told me he wanted to shoot something that showcased his city. After a lot of thought, and I believe about seven drafts, this is what I came up with. Unfortunately, it was never shot, so it remains a screenplay only to this day.
A note, if you’ve never read screenplay format before. Screenplays are very skeletal, designed to give a very basic sense of the atmosphere along with the dialog. There are no big descriptions, no engaging prose, and no story element (per se). I took a couple of liberties with this one, including a couple of camera directions and such. For instance, I wrote in the fades, flashbacks, and gave indication to voice-overs (VO). These things are typically a no no in a screenplay, but I made an exception for clarity.
The real key to reading it is to visualize it, like watching it as a movie. Pay attention to things like voice overs (VO) and screen directions, like fade-ins and outs. It will make it easier to understand.
After you read it, I’ll explain the story and give my meanings.
EXT. STATEN ISLAND FERRY – DAY
AMANDA stands on the observation deck of the ferry, lost in her thoughts. She looks up briefly as she passes the Statue of Liberty, and then to her right toward the island of Manhattan, noting the somehow unfamiliar skyline. She slips back into her reverie.
FADE TO BLACK
AMANDA
(VO)
You know love is forever right? They say that you know. It’s true. When we moved here a few years ago, I was surrounded by it. My closest friend and my new friends, even the city itself. God I love it here.
FADE IN:
EXT. BATTERY PARK – DAY
Amanda walks though the park along the edge of the water. Behind her, the city is alive. Another day in New York.
AMANDA
(VO)
We came here when JOHN got a new job. A good one, with real money. I was going to college and the opportunity was perfect. We’d been best friends since grade school, and inseparable ever since. Although we tried the couple thing once in High School, it didn’t turn out that way. Our friendship just seemed somehow deeper than that.
EXT. BATTERY PARK – DAY – FLASHBACK
Amanda stands in Battery Park looking out over the water toward Ellis Island. Presently her cell phone rings.
AMANDA
Hello? Hey. What’s the news? Did you… you did? And… so, what did she say?
John sneaks up behind Amanda still holing his phone. She’s still unaware of his presence.
AMANDA
Hello? John?
JOHN
(laughing)
She said yes.
Amanda turns startled, smiles, then closes her phone. John puts his own phone away, then walks to Amanda, who immediately embraces him.
AMANDA
(laughing)
I’m so happy for you! What is this?
John hands Amanda a rose. She smells it, then looks back to him.
JOHN
Yeah, well… there was a guy selling them. Look, I know it’s cheesy, but I want you to have it. Just remember that we’re always the best of friends, no matter what happens. Okay?
AMANDA
Of course. Always. Forever and ever.
The two of them start back toward the city.
JOHN
Why is it you always meet me here?
AMANDA
I don’t know… I just like it here. I like the water and the view. It’s not as crowded here as other parts of the city. It’s more peaceful.
JOHN
Are you sure it’s not that it’s close to my office?
AMANDA
(laughing)
Yeah. You caught me. Silly.
Amanda looks up at John and smiles. The two of them stand together for a while, looking out onto the water.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. GREENWICH STREET – DAY
Amanda walks down the street, passing other people who are seemingly oblivious to her presence.
AMANDA
(VO)
I miss him. I know he’s still with me in a way, but it’s not the same. It can never be the same. Time does funny things. It can lessen the pain, but never take it completely away. I miss John. I miss him so much.
INT. JOHN AND AMANDA’S APARTMENT – DAY – FLASHBACK
Amanda opens the door to the apartment and walks in carrying her school books. John and his fiancee Cherie are on the couch together. Cherie is thumbing through some wedding magazines, and John is pretending to be interested.
AMANDA
Hey Guys. What’s up?
CHERIE
Ohh Amanda! Tell me what you think of this.
Amanda moves to the couch with Cherie, and John is apparently relieved as he turns on the television.
AMANDA
I like that one. I like the cut of it. What did you think John?
JOHN
(mumbles)
You know, it’s an all New York Series this year. We should try…
John is interrupted when the phone rings.
CHERIE
If that’s my mom, tell her that we already found a place. We’re still moving on the eighth.
Amanda moves across the room and picks up the phone. After a minute, she gets pale and looks up with a frown.
JOHN
What’s wrong? Who is it?
AMANDA
John… it’s the hospital.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. MADISON SQUARE – LATE AFTERNOON
Amanda stands at Penn Station, looking up towards the Gardens. People are all around, yet no one pays her any attention. She smiles at a young man passing by, but he doesn’t notice.
AMANDA
(VO)
It came on so fast. I couldn’t believe it happened so fast, out of nowhere. I didn’t know what to think. I can’t understand why life works the way it does. Sometimes it’s cruel, sometimes it’s wonderful. This whole thing hit John so hard, so sudden… I felt for him. I really did.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT – FLASHBACK
Amanda lies in her bed at home, but she’s not sleeping. She’s been crying, and her eyes are still wet. Feeling uneasy, she gets up and goes into the kitchen. John is at the table which is covered in pamphlets and medical forms for cancer treatment. He wakes from a daze as Amanda enters.
JOHN
You should be sleeping.
AMANDA
Can’t.
JOHN
I’ve been going through this for hours. We have to decide… but there’s time. We…
Amanda moves over to John and hugs him from behind. She closes her eyes and rests her head on his shoulder.
JOHN
We’ll get through this. I’ll find a way to beat this. I know that sounds corny, but it’s true.
AMANDA
We’ll beat it. I know. It’s just not fair. Not fair.
John stares down at the various forms and paraphernalia.
JOHN
No. Not fair at all.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. BUSY STREET IN NEW YORK – AFTERNOON
A large group of people wait for the light to change at the intersection. When it does, the mass starts across the street. Eventually, Amanda is resolved walking peacefully among the crowd, but no one pays her any attention. No one even notices her.
She walks slowly, absorbed in the sights and the sounds of the city. There’s no purpose; she just seems to wander. She passes people left and right, but no one even glances in her direction. As she makes her way, we get a little ahead of her, distracted by the view and the sights. As we turn back to find her, she’s gone.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY – FLASHBACK
John sits in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. He stares straight ahead without expression, solemn. He’s got a magazine, but he’s not reading it. He just sits.
The door to the back opens and a nurse steps out.
NURSE
John? Mr. Anthor? Come on back. The doctor wants to talk to you.
John looks up at her sadly, then gathers up the jackets he’s been holding, and steps back through the door.
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
EXT. TIMES SQUARE – EVENING
Amanda has stopped walking for now. She soaks up the atmosphere: Manhattan in the late fall. It’s cold and grey, but Amanda is smiling with an upturned face and closed eyes. It’s almost like she’s the center of the city, all alone amongst the crowd. The lights and signs, the people… the feeling of New York is here.
EXT. ROCKEFELLER CENTER – EVENING
Amanda stops to watch several couples skate on the frozen ice. She suppresses a brief pang of pain, then turns and continues on.
AMANDA
(VO)
John and Cherie were great as a couple. I sorta envied what they had. John had been my best friend as long as I could remember, but you have to understand… I wasn’t jealous at all. Just the opposite. Cherie and I got along really well, and she understood how John and I felt about each other. She was very supportive, especially through the illness. She and John were close, and she was there for him in the end. It was hard for him, and she was there.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK – EVENING
Amanda sits on a bench in the park. She seems content, but sad. The world of New York still passes by behind her, and she wraps her arms around herself and shivers in the cold.
AMANDA
(VO)
It’s been a few years now, but it seems like yesterday. It still burns in my mind. Remember how I said time does funny things? It’s so true. Sometimes it’s like no time has passed at all.
Amanda stands and stretches her arms out with her eyes closed and her head back. She feels at one with the city.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. BATTERY PARK – MORNING
John and his wife Cherie stand in Battery Park near the water. It’s a cold, windy day but John seems not to notice. He’s lost in his thoughts.
Carefully, he places one rose on the ground and holds the other to his chest. He closes his eyes and offers a silent prayer, then both slowly walk away, looking back only once.
We see the rose on the ground by itself, blowing gently in the wind. A hand reaches out and picks it up, hesitating at first. Slowly, Amanda is revealed holding the flower to her face, smelling the last traces of fragrance. She smiles.
The story is very basic. Girl (Amanda) walks through New York City, stopping at various places along the way, triggering memories of the past (in the form of flashbacks.) These memories involve her best friend (John) and his wife to be (Cherie.) The viewer is lead to believe throughout the film that John died of cancer, and her pilgrimage through the city is her way of dealing with the past and the memory of her friend. Only at the end, it’s revealed that it was truly Amanda that died of cancer, and John and Cherie honor her memory by placing a rose in her favorite spot in Battery Park. You see, Amanda is a ghost, and because of her connection to John and the city, she’s doomed to haunt New York, always starting at the ferry and making that same walk through the city for all eternity. It’s not a happy story, but a tragedy.
I’m not sure that comes across in the screenplay, but it would have on screen. The director and I had a very open dialog about the look of the film, and there are lots of little hints along the way. The scene crossing the street, the fact that people always ignore her or don’t see her, and subtleties like that. On screen, it would have worked much better than it does in writing, and that’s the big frustration with the screenplay format. It’s meant to be viewed, and not read.
Still, it was an awesome experience. The first story I wrote was actually filmed, and is available for download. If anyone is interested in reading or viewing it, let me know. I hope you like this story though. I still have hopes that someday it could be made. Please let me know what you think.
