For those of you who live outside of Utah, I’d like to let you in on a little secret:  Utah is weird.

Soon, however, Utah is about to get a little more sane, at least in the area of our absurd alcohol laws.  You see, Utah has some crazy rules when it pertains to the selling and distribution of alcoholic drinks.  Bars and clubs in Utah are “Private Clubs”, which require memberships to enter.  These memberships are pretty cheap, usually a few dollars gets you a three-week pass.  If you have a “membership,” you can “sponsor” friends to get into the bar or club without memberships of their own, as long as you are physically there to greet them.  From what I can tell, these memberships were nothing more than an exploitation of a loophole in Utah law concerning alcohol, so they generally aren’t a big deal.  They are, however, a pretty big nuisance.

That all ends soon.  Come July first, the “membership” law will no longer apply.  Bars and clubs are welcome to admit anyone, but with one caveat:  Bar and club owners are required to purchase a scanner for their establishments, and scan the driver’s license of all patrons who appear 35 years old or less.  Weird.

The new laws also allow restaurants to remove the partitions separating the bartender from the public.  That’s right:  In Utah, all restaurants were required to have a partition so as to “keep the evil of alcohol” from the eyes of unsuspecting little kids.  This little gem has been revoked, and bartenders can now interact directly with their customers over the bar, as nature intended.

Not all clubs and bars are in for this though.  Several owners have said they intend to keep the membership fees, citing a loss of income and the expenditure of the new scanners.  They say that they have a good client base, and that keeping the absurd membership law won’t have an impact on their business.  Sure.  We’ll see how long that lasts.  My bet is that their wonderful client base will find new watering holes that don’t require stupidity, and that any new people will steer clear.  By late summer, I’ll be very surprised if ANY Utah bars or clubs still require memberships.  Anyone refusing to move to the new system of “normality” will only be killing themselves.

The reason for all of this is pure humility.  Our esteemed governor, in his one act of lucid intelligent thought this year, realized that Utah is considered weird by, well… everybody else.  Fixing our retarded alcohol laws is step one in clearing up people’s perception of the state, and I applaud it.

Many of you are aware of my current predicament with the apartment management where I live.  In the course of 2 years, my rent has increased by almost three hundred dollars.  This in itself is a travesty, but the worst part about it is the fact that my latest increase came with no notification at all, which is in violation of my initial lease agreement, and Utah state law.

I’ve written a letter to the management company for the apartment complex.  I’ve detailed my issue and asked for a response.  I’m blogging this today as an additional method of exposure, in case my letter falls on deaf ears.  Please feel free to comment and pass the information along to others, so that perhaps other people won’t be subjected to this kind of treatment in the future.  The Internet is one of the methods we can use to stop this kind of corruption, and I intend to use it.

Thanks.

I hope that this e-mail gets to the right people, but please pass it to the proper department if this isn’t the correct channel.

I have to state a complaint.

I’m a resident of the Brighton Place apartments in Midvale. I’ve been a resident here since November of 2005, and I can’t say that the experience has been all that great. My problem is the ever-increasing rent. When I moved here, my rent was $549 per month, a bit high considering the neighborhood, but at least fairly reasonable. As of this March, my rent is $830 per month. This is almost a $300 increase over the course of two years, and that is absolutely ridiculous.

Part of my rent is because I am month-to-month. There is a penalty associated with this, apparently, of $100. It used to be $50, which was incredibly high to begin with, but DOUBLING that penalty Is outrageous. I can understand charging a little extra per month in lieu of a contracted lease, but a HUNDRED DOLLARS? I would sincerely appreciate some sort of explanation on how you can justify that. It makes no sense.

Beyond the month-to-month penalty, my rent increase is still absurd. However, it is what it is. However you justify that sort of rent, considering the nature of the market right now and the average prices of rentals around the area, is completely beyond me. I accept it as reality however, so I’ll deal with it.

What I won’t accept however, is the fact that my rent was raised with NO PREVIOUS NOTICE. The rental agreement that I signed when I moved here, which according to the property management, still has an effect on my tenancy even though I’m month-to-month, states that you are required to give me 30 DAYS NOTICE in the event of a rent increase. THIS WAS NOT DONE. Utah state law says that landlords are required to give at least 15 DAYS NOTICE. In effect, the management of Brighton Place has violated state law, and the terms of my previous lease agreement.

I went into the office to protest, of course. The explanation I got was that my rent amount is based on the market value of the apartment, and because I am month-to-month, my rent is based on this amount and can be raised at any time accordingly. That’s all well and good, but you are STILL REQUIRED TO GIVE ME NOTIFICATION of this. Once again, this was not done.

Since Brighton Place has violated the terms of the initial agreement, I feel I am no longer bound by it. I will be moving as soon as possible, and although management will be given notification, it may or may not be 30 days.

As I stated, I hope this complaint gets to the right people. Please notify me if there is another channel I should be using, or if there is a dispute to my complaint here. I would like to work this situation out amicably, but I feel I’ve exhausted my resources.

Thanks for your time.

Any thoughts on this?  What are the odds that I even get a response?  Does anyone else have experience with this kind of thing?  I could use some advice.

FOLLOW UP:  The e-mail I sent bounced back to me.  The e-mail address they have posted on their website isn’t even functional.  Further proof that this company is only interested in scamming people.

FOLLOW UP 2:  I filed a report with the BBB of Utah.  Whilst doing this, I noted that Wasatch Property management has the wonderful score of D+ in regards to their company’s reputation among businesses.  Why am I not surprised?

My poor old car.

This morning I jumped in the beast and ran up to Salt Lake proper to take my friend Sra to the airport.  She asked me to do this favor, and I immediately agreed because I like doing things for my friends, and I enjoy a getting a chance to see people whom I don’t get to see quite enough.  Not only that, but it’s just good sense to be friends with someone who will soon be a rich and powerful lawyer.  It’s a sincere pleasure to be helpful.

Unfortunately, there was a slight glitch, but let me set the stage first: I own a 2001 silver Ford Taurus.  It looks exactly like the other nine hundred million 2001 silver Ford Tauruses that Ford made that year, and it’s been a great car.  I realize that it’s a giant hulking old man-mobile, but it has been dependable and to be honest, it’s a pretty nice car.  It has a good, solid feel and strong craftsmanship, and it’s big and safe and fully paid-off.  Of course, it doesn’t really fit my personality all that well, and I’d love to have something a little more sporty, but it gets the job done.  I can’t really complain too much.

Sadly though, as with all things that are old and not well taken care of, little things are starting to break on occasion.  Something is broken on the rear right-hand strut, which causes an annoying thumping and rattling sound when I run over bumps.  Something leaks out of the tailpipe sometimes, and the car has more than its share of dents and scrapes.  In short, she’s getting up there, and I imagine that a replacement will be needed within a couple of years.

Even so, the old car has been reliable and dependable from a mechanical standpoint.  She’s always started right up no matter the conditions, and she’s never stranded me anywhere.  The Taurus has been the best car I’ve ever owned.  Color me surprised then, when after calling on Sra this morning, and after getting my car all loaded up and ready to head to the airport, the Taurus… wouldn’t start.  The power came on and the dash lit up, but as soon as I turned the key to start, everything went dead.  No power…shit.

Huh?  What the…?  I just drove it here!  I just got out minutes ago!  There were no warning lights, no odd behavior, nothing to indicate the inability of my previously perfectly-running car to start.  Something was wrong.

Being a guy, I naturally popped the hood and stood in front of the car, peering into its innards with what I hope was a thoughtful and ever-knowing look on my face, while secretly saying to myself, “what the hell is that thing?  Maybe that’s the problem!”  I was in the act of jiggling the battery cable thingy when Sra exclaimed from the passenger seat that suddenly power had returned.  I congratulated myself on my vast knowledge of car repair and closed the hood.  Upon entering the car and noting that power had indeed returned, I felt better.  Off to the airport!  I turned the key to start, and… everything went dead.  No power… shit.

Sra needed to catch her flight, so we ended up taking her car.  We got to the terminal and said our goodbyes, and I drove her car back to her apartment.  She was awesome, by the way.  I was all worried and angry and I felt let down and betrayed by my car, but Sra was ever the best friend and told me I could use her car to hit up Autozone or wherever I needed to go to get things fixed up.  She’s truly the best!  After I parked her car in its assigned spot at her place, I once again popped the hood on my own conveyance and resumed the Thoughtful Face.  I jiggled the battery cable some more, and lo and behold… power!  I got in, turned the key, and… everything went dead.  No power, shit.

After doing this several more times, it dawned on me that the battery obviously wasn’t the culprit.  I sat there for a while, thinking about what I could do and cursing over the vast amounts of money it would cost me.  I got the idea that maybe I could get the car rolling down the hill [note:  All of Utah is on a hill, and usually downhill, unless you’re carrying something heavy or really tired, then it’s uphill], and maybe I could muscle it around the corner so a wrecker could come and get it and take all of my money.  This was a daunting prospect though, because there was a car parked directly in front of me, and I would have had to literally push a ton-and-a-half car uphill for a bit by myself, and then crank the wheel enough to miss the car ahead of me, then jump in and coast it down to the corner.  Not a happy thought.  I managed to get the front wheels straightened out, then I jumped out to close the hood.  On a whim, I decided to give the battery cable one more juggle, just for the hell of it, then I got back in the car just to see.  Maybe the 741st time is the charm, you know?  I turned the key to start, and… she started right up.

I’ve always been told that when you park on a hill, you turn the wheels inward, and set the parking brake.  Of course, when you own a 2001 silver Ford Taurus, this apparently isn’t the case.  From what I can tell, my best guess with what was wrong with my car had something to do with the angle it was parked on the hill, and the angle my wheels were turned.  Once I straightened them out, the car started just fine.  It has continued to start just fine ever since, every time, with no warning lights or indication that anything was ever wrong.  I’m rather speechless.  Has anyone ever heard of this?  I hope Sra isn’t too mad or disappointed in me.  It was truly an embarrassing moment that I hope never to repeat.

I guess the lesson learned is, don’t park on hills.  And if you do park on hills, leave the wheels pointing straight ahead.  I suppose I’ll know better next time, when I bring you more annoying Tales from a Ford Taurus!

I can’t seem to shake this damn sinus infection.  It started as a cold about a week and a half ago, the same cold everybody and their brother and their dog and their pet goldfish seem to have.  It’s a plague that’s infested the entire state of Utah, and perhaps the rest of the country too.  Still, the cold was rather minor for me, and only really consisted of a couple of days of drippy misery.  In about three days, the cold was gone and only the remnants remained… or so I thought.

Seems the virus might have been finished with stage one, but stage two was a mild sinus infection.  It’s not one of those that keeps you down; rather the contrary, it hasn’t kept me from going about my day or participating in activities at all.  It’s not even so much a nuisance as it is an annoyance.  It simply refuses to go away though, and that’s what’s bothering me.

On the plus side, I do get to drink some yummy NyQuil before going to bed.  I know most people hate that stuff, but I love it.  Not only for the buzz and the sleepy peacefulness it causes, but I actually like the taste.  Call me weird, but I look forward to my nightly dose of green syrupy goodness.

So here I sit on a boring Sunday, typing words in the general direction of my computer screens and wondering if this last box of Kleenex is going to carry me though tomorrow.  This stupid affliction better go away soon.