I’m Not from Around Here

By sovknight | June 9, 2008

When I tell people I live in Utah, whether it be people back home or someone I meet wherever I go, the first question out of their mouth is invariably, "are you a Mormon?"  I suppose that’s a fair question, because people outside of Utah associate Utah with Mormons.  That’s the one thing people know.

No, I’m not Mormon.  As far as I know, there’s not a single bit of Mormon history anywhere in my family.  I will admit I didn’t even know what a Mormon really was before I moved here.  Sure, I’ve seen the TV commercials when I was a kid.  I remember them vaguely, having something to do with happy families or responsibility or lying. They were always bright and happy, and each one ended with a voiceover saying “from the Mormons! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.” Beyond this, I had no ideas.

I’ve also had people ask, “Are you going to become a Mormon?” I think that’s an interesting question too, and the inflection is different depending on who is asking. If someone from outside the state asks, it’s usually with distain. They say “Mormon” like it’s a curse. If it’s someone from Utah, and especially if it’s a member of the Church, it’s spoken more from disbelief, as if joining the church is simply a given, and they can’t understand why I wouldn’t want to. The way the question is asked says a lot.

I can tell you one of the reasons I’m not a Mormon though, and it’s a simple answer. I’m not from around here. I didn’t grow up with that culture. I’m sure if I had hailed from Utah or Idaho or even Nevada, there would have been that possibility. However, where I’m from, Mormons are simply unheard of.

Thinking back, I did know some Mormons growing up. It never occurred to me then, and they didn’t advertise themselves in any way. I remember thinking it odd that this family had six or seven kids, and every couple of years a new one would arrive, but I suppose I just shrugged it off as a big family. To each their own.

When I lived in an apartment in Columbus, Ohio, a nice young couple moved in across the breezeway from me. The woman was about 22ish, and her husband was maybe 24-25 at the most. I thought they were way young, but they were cool. What struck me most about them was how friendly they always seemed. I remember them taking a blanket out into the yard in front of the apartment on occasion and sitting together, reading out of a book which I assumed was a bible or something. They were spiritual and joyful, and really good people. Roughly six or so months later, they had a cute little baby and a whole new round of excitement and joy spread through the building. Again, thinking back, they were obviously LDS. I didn’t see it though, and even the BYU license plate bracket on their car didn’t tip me off. I was that naive. They moved away shortly thereafter and I never really got a chance to know them all that well.

I’m not relating all of this to be judgmental. I have nothing against other people’s beliefs, and I’m not patronizing anyone.  I’m simply saying that I believe religion is as much cultural as anything else. Where you grow up and what the people around you believe has a big impact on what you believe. It’s tough to break away from something when it’s all you’ve known your whole life. I was raised pretty much non-denominational, although the church I regularly attended was Methodist. I grew up with these principles and never really questioned them until later. To me, that’s simply how things were. Since I was surrounded by like-minded people, I simply assumed that other religions were wrong. Everything I knew what right, and if you believed otherwise, you were simply misinformed. It’s very cultural.

These days I’m not religious at all. I received my own personal revelation some years back, and I have a very strong faith that it’s the correct way to think. Namely, that God (or whatever Deity you believe in) doesn’t care what religion you follow. I was made to understand that earthly religions were important only so far as that people need structure to believe. All the rules set forth by scripture or revelation is nothing more than mans feeble attempt to put human structure and interpretation into something he can barely comprehend. It’s all made-up. God wants simply for you to be a good person, to the best of your abilities. None of that other stuff is even slightly important. In fact, the impression that I got is that God’s take on organized religion was pure amusement. I don’t know… I think it’s important to believe in something bigger than yourself, and to have faith that you can make the right decisions and do the right things, but I don’t need an organization or a church to tell me what to do or wear or say or think. Yes. I believe that’s it. I managed to make it personal, and ignore the cultural pressure. I made the right choice.

Anyway, that’s why I don’t subscribe. I may live in Utah, but I’m not a part of the culture. I’ll never be a part of the culture, because I’ve been able to break away and find my own spiritual path. I don’t need a structure and I don’t need a culture to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong. Some people do.  In fact, I’d say that most people do.  For me however, I can find it within myself.