It’s been a while since I gave an update on my diet.  The reason for this is simple: I’m really lazy.  I also figured y’all got sick of me talking about it.  At any rate, here’s the latest.

Presently I’m weighing in at 183 pounds.  This is down from 205 at the start of my diet a little over two months ago (July 11th, to be exact.)  I’m three pounds from the goal weight I set for myself, and I’m feeling and looking much better.

There are a couple of issues though, and I’ll address them here.  One, I look much thinner, especially in the upper body area.  Shirts tend to hang on me now, whereas they used to sort of “form fit.”  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s disappointing to me because I spent much of my 20s ridding myself of the “skinny” look.  It was to be expected, I guess.  The second issue is that all my pants are loose.  You might laugh, but this is a real problem.  I don’t like wearing belts, and I actually have a couple pairs of shorts that literally hang down all Gangsta Rap style now, unless I belt them up.  It sucks, because I don’t want to buy new pants.  Of course, I surely don’t wanna be fat again either, so I suppose it’s either new pants or a belt.  I’ll have to adjust.

Phase one is almost over.  Phase two is to up the calories considerably (from my average of 1700 per day now to about 3500) and hit the gym.  The goal now is to replace the 20 or so pounds of fat that I lost with lean, sexy muscle.  I’m looking forward to this part immensely, because I get to blend up some tasty protein shakes, consume mass quantities of pizza, and sling some iron.  Of course, I need to think it through better this time.  When I was 19, it was nothing for me to do a workout, play basketball (badly) for an hour, go to class (maybe), and come back the next day for more.  Now that I’m almost twice that age, it won’t be quite so easy.  For one, my body chemistry has changed, so I need to re-think my supplementation routine.  I intend to use creatine and an amino stack, and I gotta get the numbers right.  It’s not as simple as it was years ago.  Two, I don’t recover from workouts anywhere near as fast as before.  I also need to consider that my testosterone levels have probably dropped severely in the last 17 years.  I won’t build muscle as fast or retain it as well.  I’ve never seriously attempted to build muscle as an old man, so this should be interesting.  Perhaps I’ll log it and blog it.

I’m not aiming to be the Hulk.  I just want a nice, lean body with a decent chest and well-defined arms and shoulders.  That’s not so bad, right?  According to recent measurements, I’ve lost a little over two inches on my upper arms in the past ten years or so, so I’d like to get that back.  They were just over 17 inches before, so maybe I can hit 18 this time!  Three inches can’t be that hard, and that would be cool.  My chest is a different story.  It was never that big to begin with, so I need to do a lot of work there.  We’ll see what happens.

Can you tell I’m excited?  I want desperately to be in good shape again.  In four years, I’ll be 40, and I intend to be in better shape at 40 than I was at 20.  I think I can do it too, I just need to keep it up.  I shall again be a sexy beast.

I gotta tell you, I feel so much better already.

This is week three of my diet.  After thinking about it a lot, and on the advice of others, I decided that 1000 calories per day was just too little.  Not only is it pretty much impossible to do, but it’s not healthy.  I knew that going into it, but luckily common sense prevailed and I upped my daily count.

I did some research on ye olde Internet and found some formulas and calculations to determine my proper dietary needs.  For a 200lb man, at 5′10, and 493 years old, my calorie requirements are 1,950 calories per day.  That still seems pretty high to me, so I’ve comprimised and set my goal between 1,200 and 1,500.  I think that’s a bit more realistic, as well as healthier to boot.

I’m quite pleased to announce that I’ve lost five pounds, and now stand at an even 200 (as of today).  More than that, I can honestly see a difference in the size of my waist.  I know there’s a “wishful thinking” factor, but there’s definitely a difference to be seen.  I also notice a slight difference in my face too, and that’s got me excited as well.  I’m very happy with my progress so far.

Here’s a breakdown of averages according to the data I’ve been keeping:

Fat – 28.5% (340 grams)
Protein – 13.9% (372 grams)
Carbohydrates – 57.6% (1,545 grams)
Alcohol – 0.0%
Other – 0.0%

My carbs are a little high, and my protein is a little low, but my fat intake is right about where it should be.  I also had a beer last Saturday (thanks Sra!), but it didn’t have enough effect to register in the formula.  With some slight adjustments, I’ll be sitting pretty.

Daily Calorie Intake – 1,752 cals
Daily Sodium Intake – 2,930 mg
Daily Sugar Intake – 82 grams
Daily Cholesterol Intake – 156 mg
Daily Saturated Fat Intake – 21 grams
Daily Fiber Intake – 13 grams

As you can see, I’m a little over my average for calories per day, but this was due to my “cheat meal” of delicious pizza last Saturday, so the curve is a little off.  I’m still under the 1,950 suggestion though, so it’s all good.

I’m also burning an average of 2,800 calories per day, so that’s another plus.  I actually hope to up this a little in coming weeks.

Overall, I simply feel better.  I’m not all “bloaty” like I’ve been feeling for a good year now, and I’m happier when I catch a glance in the mirror and can actually see progress.  I even did Ensign Peak earlier tonight to watch the sunset, and made it to the top without having a heart attack or wheezing like Orson Wells in the 300 meter hurdles.

Progress, my friends.  My six-pack will be back.

I’m getting my six-pack back.  Actually, I still have it.  It’s hidden under a large, protective layer of fat.  I have stealth abs.  Carefully concealed with several years of pizza and steaks and beer and soda pop, but ready at a moment’s notice to assist my body with the strength and support to do things as exciting as sitting on the couch, or sitting in my computer chair, or riding my bike!  That’s right, I’ve been riding a lot lately too.

It’s part of my exercise regimen, which also involves walking and hiking.  I’ve also begun a "diet" of sorts, which isn’t so much a diet as it is a philosophy of eating.

I’ve noticed two things during my recent rides, neither of which is good.  One, I’m seriously out of shape.  Like gasping, wheezing, soaked with sweat out of shape, and that’s just carrying my bike down the front stairs of my apartment.  Two, all of Utah is uphill in all four directions.  I mean, really… is it so much to ask for a break?  All of my bike-riding skills were forged in Ohio, which is flatter than Natalie Portman under a bus tire.  My body wasn’t designed to climb vertical surfaces on a personal, human-powered conveyance.  I look around me and see all the serious bikers, guys and girls with the full-getup, which includes the tight biker shorts, funky hat with sunglasses, yellow stretchy jersey, and clip-shoes, casually climbing 85-degree hills in 95-degree weather without even giving it a second thought, and I can only think "man, a big slice of pizza and an ice cold root beer, along with a big bowl of ice cream sounds really good right about now."

Which leads me to my next thought.  I’m always hungry these days.  My "diet" is really just a change in my eating habits.  Whereas before, I’d eat two or three gigantic meals every day, consisting of anything that moved slowly enough for me to jab with a fork, (especially if it included pepperoni.) Now I eat three or four very small meals, spaced out a bit.  When I say "meals", I mean something like a piece of toast with peanut butter.  Or an egg.  Under 1000 calories a day is what I’m starving myself with presently, and I’m always hungry. 

You would think that by eating several times per day, along with drinking approximately 50.7 ounces of water, my hunger would be satiated.  You would be wrong.  Never underestimate the power of desire, especially when you bike past an Apollo Burger routinely.  Several years of being fat have taught my subconscious that mass quantities of food are what I need, and no piddly egg is gonna change that.  I have paradigm issues to conquer for sure.

I’ve been on my diet and exercise deal now for almost two weeks, and by god, I do notice a difference.  One, my enormous super-orbital gut looks a little more deflated.  I don’t feel anywhere near as bloated or Hutt-like anymore, and my reflection occasionally shows a tantalizing glimpse of the old abdominal muscles.  I’m starting to feel better, and if I could deal with the hunger thing, I’d be in good shape.  I’m well on target for my September deadline for gut-freedom, and if I can keep the pace, it will happen even before that. 

I’m proud of me so far.  I’ve been able to will myself away from junky food.  I have a bottle of Sprite that I keep in my fridge as a reminder not to drink it.  It sits there, mocking me with it’s lemon-lime goodness, but I just scoff.  I will triumph over the Sprite, just as I will regain my wonderful 25 year-old body.  Just don’t ask me to climb that damn hill by my house on my bike anymore, and we’re cool.

We’ve all been there.  Walking alone somewhere, maybe on a dark street or a parking garage, lost in our thoughts.  Suddenly you’re aware of another person, always a man, always by himself as well, walking behind you.  That guy, walking behind you.

You’re subject to a certain amount of fear and doubt.  Maybe this guy is some kind of mugger?  Maybe he’s a rapist or some sort of unsavory sort?  In your mind, you start running through scenarios on how to deal with it.  You try to remember if your pepper spray is in your purse, or, if you’re a guy, you picture yourself in a possible physical altercation.  Deftly dodging knife swipes while landing jabs to his face.  As you walk, his distance never changes.  You sneak a quick look behind you;  his face is placid and expressionless.  What is he thinking?  You wonder:  Does he have a weapon?  I just need to get to where I’m going.  Get somewhere where people can see me.

Usually it’s just someone else going in your direction.  I suppose there are occasions where there is a crime, but I’m specifically talking about those cases where you’re just scaring yourself.  The guy behind you is harmless, and deep down you know that.

I like to take walks around my neighborhood.  Know that my place isn’t exactly the safest neighborhood though.  I think of Midvale as the armpit of Salt Lake City.  It’s not a slum or a ‘hood, or full of crime-ridden filth, but it’s not really "nice" either.  Most of the architecture involves pawn shops and those sleazy car dealerships that have a trailer for an office.  There’s a sex shop (or what passes for one in Utah, anyway) directly across the street, and there have been a couple of shootings in my complex in the past couple of years.  Still, I enjoy a good stroll around the block, so I walk.  Hoodlums don’t concern be all that much, although I try to stay alert most of the time.

On occasion, I’ll come across a happy couple or a young mom pushing a stroller during my walk.  Just people out for a little exercise, just like me.  These people invariably move to the side a little, or give me one of those nervous smiles as I pass by.  I usually give them a grin or a head nod or in the case of old people, a hello.  No big deal.  I never thought too much about it really.  Sometimes I’ll see someone up ahead going to wherever it is they’re going.  Sometimes they’ll even take a quick glance behind them, maybe sizing me up, or curious as to who I am.  I don’t say anything.  I just keep my face placid and expressionless.  No sense in alarming anyone, right?

I don’t think of myself as an imposing figure.  I’m not any sort of racial minority (actually, come to think of it, I suppose in my particular apartment complex I am.)  I don’t look threatening… at least I don’t think so.  No one has any real reason to fear me at all.  I’m not scary, am I?

It occurred to me just the other night, as I thought more about it.  I think I might be that guy.

That’s kind of cool.