Well, I guess I know what I’m getting myself for Christmas this year.  Usually, I’ll buy myself a little something.  Sometimes a trip, or sometimes some new computer upgrades or clothing.  Last year I bought myself a nice camera.  This year, it’s going to be a microwave.

I didn’t particularly want a new microwave.  I didn’t think I’d need a new microwave.  A new microwave really wasn’t part of the ever-shrinking budget this year.  Apparently though, a container of Easy Mac was too much of a strain for my poor old microwave, because after a loud buzzing noise, followed by some sparks, the damn thing burst into flames.

Of course, I was a little shocked.  Normally, technology doesn’t just catch fire for no reason.  Not only that, but I was looking forward to the Easy Mac, dammit.  They don’t call it “hungry” for nothing.  Stupid faulty microwave ruined dinner.  After putting out the fire and inspecting the infernal device, I suspect a short of some kind in the wiring.  Tricky things, those microwaves.

Luckily I was nearby preparing the rest of my meal when the incident occurred.  Nothing says “Merry Christmas” to the neighbors like an apartment fire.  We already had two buildings explode earlier in the year.  No sense having a repeat of that.  I got it under control and then stared longingly at my ruined dinner, wishing I didn’t own combustible technology.  That thing wasn’t even that old.  I swear I bought it when I moved here three years ago.  Oh well, it’s dumpster fodder now.

Thinking there might be a chance to salvage my supper, I raced to the car and drove over to evil Walmart, hoping that even though it’s Christmas Eve, surely they wouldn’t close at 6:23PM… right?  Of course, they did.  They were probably waiting for me to pull up just so they could shut the doors.  Stupid Walmart.

So for the next few days it looks like I’m back to the stone age for cooking.  Man, I’ve had access to a microwave daily since about 1976.  This is going to be tough.  How does one make things hot without a microwave anyway?  What about hot chocolate?  Do I need to get one of those pan things out and actually heat liquids on a stove?  Can that even be done in the 21st century?

Christmas is turning out to be pretty miserable so far.

Humbug.

Saturday morning was quite the experience.  I had gotten up early (for me) because Sra and I had planned a hike in Bells Canyon in preparation for our big climb of Mount Olympus next week.  Like always, I stumbled groggily into the bathroom to take my shower, when I heard a loud BAM!, followed by a couple of smaller (but equally loud) cracks coming from somewhere outside.  My first thought was that the neighbors were shooting each other again, and at 8AM on a Saturday morning, that was just plain rude.  Subsequent screaming and shouting from the vicinity of outside somewhere further cemented this opinion, and I figured since it was none of my business, I’d just finish my shower and go about my day. 

My second thought, as I was soaping up, was that those cracks sounded pretty loud for gunfire.  Are the neighbors using shotguns this time?  That’s horribly insensitive to people who are still trying to sleep.  No, those blasts were too loud for guns.  Something’s up.  I toweled off and investigated.

Upon stepping out to my balcony, I saw about 100 people milling about and staring at a spectacle which took me a minute to digest.  The neighboring apartment across the pool from mine was gone, and in its place was a massive fireball and a thick cloud of black smoke.  Oh God!  The neighbor’s freaking apartment exploded!  I couldn’t believe it.  I just stood there dumbstruck as the Midvale fire department pulled up and finally justified the purchase of their humongous new ladder truck. 

It didn’t take them too long to put it out, but I think that’s because, at my count, there were nine fire trucks, from all the neighboring cities including Sandy, Murray, West Valley, and even South Jordan, along with various ambulances and support vehicles, and numerous cop cars in every corner of my apartment complex.  Firefighters were running everywhere, and residents (and now former residents) were just walking around in a daze.  Like me, they couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing.

Since I couldn’t get my car out, I walked down to the 7/11 and had Sra pick me up there for our hike.  We were both rather taken with the events of that morning, and couldn’t stop talking about it for a while.  Our hike took all day, and when I got back I grabbed my little camera and walked over toward the site of the destruction.  The area was roped off of course, but there was a news crew there doing a story.  I felt bad snapping a picture with all the (former) residents poking through the ashes of their (former) possessions, but I did manage to grab one blurry one.

The good news is that no one was hurt.  From what I understand, two teenagers went around the apartments banging on the doors and getting everyone out before the buildings went up.  They probably saved several lives by that quick thinking.  The bad news is that 35 people are now homeless and 13 apartments were destroyed.  The building itself will have to be demolished, because the fire marshal says it’s not structurally sound anymore, and as of now there’s still no known cause.

A pretty sad way to start the weekend.