My bestest friend Sra recently gave me a CD with some pictures she’s taken over the last couple of years at various outdoorsy things we’ve done. This particular picture struck me hard as I looked at it though, because it completely tells the tale of why I’m dieting to lose the GIANT gut I’ve acquired.

This shot was taken a while ago when we were up on Antelope Island, which juts out into the Great (WTF is that smell?) Salt Lake. I was at my most massive then, at around 210. As you can see, it’s horrifying. I didn’t have a clue myself until I saw this picture.

At first, I thought that perhaps the wind had gotten up into my shirt and puffed it out. It was a pretty windy day, after all. However, upon closer inspection, my arms are actually pinned up to my sides as I hold the rock in anticipation of some serious (albeit unsuccessful) skippage on the water in the background. So I guess I can’t use that excuse. Also note the roundness of the face and the plump cheeks. Frightening! There is a little wind puffage in the shirt, but 99% of that bulk is pure me. Sad, I know.

Many of my readers are looking at this picture going, “well, that’s just some normal fat guy on a beach.” However, my friends back home and those who have known me in the past are saying, “DAAYYYYYYYYUUM!” I know, I know. It’s pretty bad.

The real kicker came to me a month or so ago during the Bountiful parade up north. I volunteer some of my time as a cadet in the 501^st Legion as a spotter and photographer. The 501^st is a charity costuming organization based on Star Wars characters, and the costumes they wear really draw crowds and put smiles on the faces of many people, and help raise a good deal of money to boot. Typically, I’ll shoot some video during parades to use later in PR and DVD presentations to promote the group, but this time I turned the video camera over to my friend while I took stills. She did a spectacular job too, much better than I normally do, but upon watching the video when I got home I’d notice that on occasion a huge, blobby creature would lumber into frame during the walk at various times. I had to wrack my brain for a second, thinking, when did we get a Jabba the Hutt costume? Until I realized it was me! AAAAHHH! I made up my mind that very day to change.

So far it’s working. I’m down to 198lbs and lost an inch or two in circumference. I can see some definition starting to creep back into the layers of fat, and I feel healthier than I have in years. Just gotta keep it going.  I will be again be a sexy beast!  I just need to buckle down.

No more Humongosaurus!

Today, for no conceivable reason whatsoever, I realized that I own seven cameras. It just sort of hit me while I was eating breakfast. I’m not sure what prompted the thought, except that maybe I was remembering a concert I attended last Saturday, and thought back on my friend trying to take pictures with a cell phone. The cell phone proved to be inadequate for the task, and perhaps that’s why I was ruminating on the fact that I too have a camera in my cell phone and wouldn’t it have been nice to have a decent camera to take pictures of the concert? And oh, I have a decent camera. In fact, I have two… three… no wait, I have… (I had to count them up) seven cameras?

OK, they vary in type. Two are web cams, one is a cell phone cam, but still… a camera is a camera. They will all record an image that I can further manipulate and then print, e-mail, or whatever. I count them. One of them is also a camcorder. Even though the primary use of that device is moving pictures, it does take stills as well. Throw it on the pile. The other three are still cameras. One, my favorite, is a Canon 40D DSLR that I simply love. It cost me a pretty penny, but the images I’m able to get from it are stunning. I also have another digital camera, a point-and-shoot style Sony DSC-W1. It’s quite a camera too, and takes excellent photographs. The last (but not least) is an old Canon AE1 that I used in college. This is a classic film camera, and is considered to be one of the best of its breed. It was quite technologically advanced for the time, but still had all-manual controls that gave you all the education you needed in learning the basics of college photography. I loved that camera. Sadly, something is wrong with the shutter release and it doesn’t work properly. Ever since I made the switch to digital, I’ve never investigated the cost of repairing it.

Why do I have seven cameras? Beats me. I suppose I’ve just collected them over the years. Of the seven, I use the 40D the most, because it’s a pro level camera and the amount of control I have over the image is mind-boggling. I still use the little Sony sometimes as a backup as well. It traveled with me to Sundance this past year, because it’s small and light and easy to slip in a pocket. On occasion, I use my newer web cam. The picture of the Pringles can in my last post was taken with it. The other web cam is buried in a box of computer parts somewhere in my closet. The AE-1 is broken, although now that I’m thinking of it, I may look into getting it fixed, and the camcorder comes out with me for certain events that I record for the charity group I work with. Lastly, the cell phone camera is a gimmick and just stupid, so it never gets any real use at all.

So now I’m thinking, what other stuff do I have multiples of that I don’t necessarily use? Well, let’s see: I have three computer monitors. Honestly, I use two of them in a dual-screen setup (and once you do, you’ll never go back to a single screen again), so only the third one is redundant. Counting the one built into my computer, I have three DVD players. This is actually down from five a few years ago, so I’m doing OK there. I have two sets of computer speakers. One of those is sitting on the floor to my right, gathering dust, having not been used in a year or so. I have enough spare parts to build at least two, possibly three more severely outdated computers. I have two humidifiers for some reason. I don’t use either one, but I have one set up in my bedroom in case the need arises. The other is on the floor in my closet probably growing some sort of science project inside. Oh, and I have two copies of “Wizard and Glass” by Stephen King. One is a first-edition paperback, the other is a second-edition paperback. Why? Who knows.

I guess that’s not too bad all things considered. It’s not quite to the point of absurdity, but then again I did throw out 90% of my belongings when I moved here from Ohio three years ago. It’s just that stuff tends to accumulate out of nowhere. I don’t know why I own half the stuff I own, but I look about and there it is.

Yard sale anyone?

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