I didn’t finish college.

There’s really no good reason for this.  Not one that I can think of, at least.  I did go to college, and in fact I got accepted into every college I applied to when I was 17.  Now, that was based largely on the fact that I played Viola, and less on my academics, but still, I graduated high school with a GPA around 3, which was respectable since I failed two math courses.  If not for that, I’d have made Cum Laude (I did the math.)  For the record, math still sucks and I hate it with a passion.

No, I didn’t finish for a couple of reasons.  Money was number one.  I funded my college education myself.  I didn’t get a single loan or grant, nor did my parents help in any way.  I got a job and went to college at the same time.  After a time, I simply ran out of money.  The bright side to that is that I have no loans to pay back.  I remain debt-free.

Two, I was young and impulsive.  There were too many distractions, like girls and work and girls and drinking beer with friends, going out (sometimes with girls), and generally being a kid, even though I was technically an adult.  I spent too much time in class goofing off.  I carried my “never do homework” policy over from high school, and I just pretty much dropped the ball.  I didn’t take it seriously enough.

Now that I’m old I realize what a huge mistake this was.  I’ve always said, and still maintain, that if there’s one regret I have in life, and if I could go back and redo one thing, I’d finish college.  Education is more important than just about everything else, and if you don’t take advantage of it, you find yourself in your late 30’s with no job and no degree trying to earn respect you apparently don’t deserve.  It’s very humbling.

I recently updated my resume.  I pretty much cried through the whole process, and I felt humiliated by the pathetic-ness of my professional life spelled out before me in black & white.  My resume is a sad, sad thing to see.  It lists years and years of actual work experience, almost all in leadership and management positions, but no real education, which probably invalidates the entire thing to hiring managers and HR people.  It’s embarrassing.

What makes is worse is that I see college-educated people all around me every day.  I see these people, with their fancy degrees and their six-figure salaries, and note that they lack even the most basic skills, like spelling words correctly and using proper grammar when they write.  They can’t articulate at all.  They are sloppy and lazy and over-confident.  I see examples of artwork by “professionals” that I know I can outdo easily.  These are people that paid tens of thousands of dollars for an education that can barely write their own names legibly, or create something truly unique that isn’t tainted by an over-reliance on forms and traditions.  It sickens me that my experience and native ability trumps their education almost every time, but if it came down to me and some guy with a degree for a job, guess who likely wins?

I’m woefully undereducated, but still pretty damn smart.  My close friends can attest to that.  There is nothing I’ve not excelled at when I take interest in it and put my mind to it.  I wish society could look at people for what they can do, and what they are, instead of what they didn’t do, and what they didn’t finish in the past.

I didn’t finish college.  Some mistakes you just can’t fix.

The pool at my apartment complex opened over the weekend. That’s fine, but there should be limits. I mean, nothing says annoying like 23 shrieking kids in a little apartment pool right across from my window. Where are the parents? Furthermore, it is raining today. There was even thunder and lightning earlier. Why are there still kids in my pool? I would say something mean and spiteful, possibly involving the word “drowning”, but the last time I thought that on Monday an ambulance and a fire truck came speeding up and stopped right by the pool, sirens blaring. I felt a little bad. But only a little.

I hate DI. When I say DI, I mean Deseret Industries. It’s the Mormon version of Goodwill, except without the standards. In the rest of the world, when you have some ungodly piece of furniture or a lamp or some old golf clubs or something, you simply take them to the nearest Goodwill. However, sometimes Goodwill will reject the item based on its appearance or some other criteria. No one wants a couch with a nasty stain where the cat vomited in 1978 still clearly visible. No one wants the very first ever VCR with the top-load cassette mechanism and three buttons missing. Goodwill will say “nope” and make you take it away. Not so with DI. No way. You can drag any old piece of shit in there and they will gladly accept it without a word. Without a word in English, I should say, because no one that works in the drop off area speaks it. Walking into a DI is like taking a trip back to 1960. Tweed sports jackets with patches on the elbows, ancient televisions with knobs broken off, three-legged chairs, a couch with that gawd-awful floral print that looks like some kind of disease, old crusty books with pages missing, a radio from 1953, chipped and dusty picture frames (with pictures of Jesus still in them), bicycle helmets with the blood stain still apparent (not kidding), and lamps from the Lincoln administration. The only thing for sale in the place that looks relatively new and unused is the exercise equipment. Everything else is pure, absolute, junk. Just junk. DI sells nothing but junk.

I found a job on Craigslist that I’m eminently qualified for. It’s a job doing Photoshop retouching… something I can do exquisitely. I don’t mean to brag, but Photoshop is my bitch. I use it on a daily basis in my personal life, and getting a job doing that would be heavenly. Here’s the problem though: My resume sucks. All of my work experience involves mostly retail. No mention of Graphic Design or artistic endeavors at all. I can put that under “Interests” or “skills”, but I have no proof of experience or education in this area. I need to get my portfolio going again, but right now it’s not up to par. What to do? Do I send my resume as is, hoping for the benefit of the doubt, or pass up on this one and hope for another opportunity in the near future? I don’t want to embarrass myself with my stupid resume. All I need is a chance to show them what I can do. Sit me down in front of a computer and let me Photoshop something. I hate that my resume doesn’t reflect anything about what I’m good at or what I want to be. I hate my resume. It’s a pitiful document full of ordinary achievements. A complete travesty.

Oh… looks like the rain stopped. Very good.