Today is Super Tuesday, and no… I didn’t vote

By sovknight | February 5, 2008

It’s not that I have anything against voting, or that I’m unpatriotic, or that I’m against democracy in any way.  There are two main reasons why I didn’t vote in the primary election today:

1. I’m not registered to vote in the state of Utah.
2. I simply don’t like any of the candidates

Now, I know I’m going to catch a lot of flack over what I’m about to say.  Believe me, I’ve heard it all a million times and I’m sure I’ll hear it a million more.  Even some of my best friends have had this particular debate with me, so if you feel so compelled, have at it if you will.

I haven’t voted in a presidential election since 1992.  That’s sixteen years.  Why?  Am I some sort of communist?  Do I hate the democratic process?  Should I move to Canada?  Well, the short answer is that I’m basically lazy.  Beyond that, I guess the biggest reason is that I simply don’t put it very high on my priority list to think about who becomes the next president.  To me, and in my experience, they’re all more or less the same.  Sure, they have different agendas and true, they all go about things in different ways.  What I mean to say is, they’re all politicians, and for me that means that whatever they say or whatever they pretend to stand for is irrelevant.  They’re going to do what’s in their best interests to get elected, and then forget whatever pledges they made thereafter.

I follow the polls somewhat.  I have a passing interest in who these people are and what they say.  Most, if not all of them, say exactly what they think you want to hear.  I listen to the news and I know the candidate’s platforms for the post part.  I guess it comes down to this:  All I want is for one of them to actually do the things they say they’re going to do.  This is mostly impossible however, as the promises they make aren’t generally within their power to accomplish.  They have some pull, of course, but to accomplish major goals in this country requires large committees and budgets and lots of arguing.  A candidate needs to be able to admit this, and be honest and realistic about their goals.

I don’t like the candidates this year.  Not any of them.  Sure, I could just say “screw it” and pick the lesser of all evils, but that doesn’t get me anywhere.  I’d still have voted for someone I didn’t especially like, and I don’t want that.  I want someone I can get behind.  Someone I can trust to be honest.  Thus far, none of the candidates have shown me that.  I don’t trust any of them.

Some of the things you hear

• “If you don’t vote, then you don’t have any right to complain later.”

Yeah… We’ve all been hearing that one all our lives.  This is based on some sort of guilt trip that people like to bring out to make you feel sorry for not voting.  Here’s what I believe.  It’s backwards.  If you vote for someone, you’ve spoken.  You’ve had your say.  You’re done.  Now you need to back up your candidate.  You need to support the person you voted for, and you no longer have any more objectivity.  No more complaints.  You’ve made your bed and now you need to lie in it.  If your candidate does some good things, then congratulations.  You made a good choice.  If he screws up, then sorry about your luck.  You have no one else to blame but yourself, and you can’t take the decision back.

However, I didn’t vote for him.  I didn’t vote for the other guy, either.  I am impartial.  I can now be objective, and say, “look… you voted for this guy, and look what he’s done.”  I have every right to complain, because of that objectivity.  I haven’t had my say, and I can look at things from all perspectives and point out all the problems as I choose without bias.

• “You really should vote.  It’s your responsibility as an American.  George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and Paul Revere and Pat Tillman all fought and died for your right to vote!”

No… wrong.  George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and Paul Revere and Pat Tillman all fought and died for my right to CHOOSE.  The freedoms that our Founding Fathers and American patriots fought for are, among many, the right to choose whether I want to vote or not.  It’s not my responsibility, it’s my decision.

• “If you hate America so much, then move!”

I hate this one.  I’m also confused by it.  I don’t hate democracy.  I don’t hate America or the freedoms we have or the values we stand for.  I’m sorry if you somehow got that impression, but you are mistaken.  This ultra-patriotism you seem to have just around election time doesn’t become you.  I love my country and my freedoms.  I just happen to not like the candidates for president.  I don’t want to vote for any of them.  That doesn’t make me a bad American, or a bad person.  And as much as I like Canada, I don’t want to live there.  It’s cold in Canada, and they have shitty beer.

Traditionally speaking

Traditionally, the president has always been a wealthy, popular white guy.  Always.  Sometimes, he’s also a military figure, a successful lawyer or businessman, a congressman, or some other sort of politician.  He’s always a rich and popular white guy though, so based on that tradition and that tradition alone, not racism or sexism, but purely tradition, we can safely decide who our next president will be.

• Hillary Clinton.  Rich, white, popular, but not a guy.  Take a seat.
• Barack Obama.  Rich, popular, is a guy, but is only a little bit white.  Mostly black.  Better luck next time.
• Mitt Romney.  Rich, white, popular, and a guy.  Perfect right?  Nope.  He’s a Mormon.  So, you ask?  What does religion have to do with it?  Well, it shouldn’t have anything to do with it, but it does.  I live in Utah, where more than half the population is Mormon.  I know lots of them, and I also know lots of people who are voting for Mitt Romney specifically because he’s Mormon.  They may not even know anything about him, other than some vague recollection about him having something to do with the 2002 Olympics, but that doesn’t matter.  They will vote for him because he’s a Mormon.  Likewise, I also know people that will NOT vote for him because he’s a Mormon.  No other reason, just a prejudice against religion or even specifically Mormons, for whatever reason.  Mitt Romney = not gonna win.
• Mike Huckabee.  Rich, white, is a guy, but not that popular.  At least, not yet.  When compared against the aforementioned candidates, his popularity is behind.  That’s not a good sign.  Plus, he’s got a stupid name.  Can you imagine President Huckabee?  What is this, the Andy Griffith show?  Chances:  Very long.  Maybe, but not likely.
• Ron Paul.  Rich, white, is a guy, not popular.  Seriously, who is this guy?  I haven’t even seen any campaign signs for him.  I do know exactly two people that support him though, but that’s not enough.  Not a chance.

Well, that pretty much leaves John McClane.

  Personally, I think John McClane would make a kick-ass president.  We definitely wouldn’t have any more terrorist issues.  Foreign policy would be settled quickly and decisively, and the State of the Union address would be peppered with obscenities and sharp one-liners.  America’s new catchphrase?  “Yippeeki-yay, motherf”… wait, John McCain?  McCain, not McClane? 

Bummer.

Well, OK.  John McCain.  Rich, white, is a guy, popular, plus he’s ex-military, a current senator, and he’s old.  Perfect ingredients for a president.  Of course, he’s also an asshole.  Still, traditionally speaking, he’s the guy.  Plus, as I write this, he’s leading his party.   Consensus:  Good.

Final thoughts

The real election isn’t until November of course.  That still leaves plenty of time for the candidates to all show their true colors.  Today it’s being whittled down to two, one for each party.  Tomorrow, all the real mudslinging starts.  Perhaps a candidate will emerge that impresses me.

Maybe I’ll even go and vote.

Update:

As of today, February 7, Mitt Romney has “suspended” (dropped out) of the race for Republican candidate.  Pussy.  He was running second to John McCain, but that wasn’t good enough.  He got mad, took his ball, and went home.  What a douche.  What about all those people who voted for him just two days ago?

You ever see that episode of Saturday Night Live where all the Star Trek nerds are at a convention and Captain Kirk shows up and tells them all to “get a life”?  Then all the Trekkie nerds look all dejected and confused?

That’s how I picture all of his supporters right now.  Lots of little Romney followers with their foam Romney hands and their Romney hats and their Romney pins and t-shirts, all sitting in the crowd waiting for their wonderful leader to emerge and tell them to keep fighting the good fight… all the way to the convention and maybe even the White House!  But no, instead, Mitt Romney steps up to the lectern, unbuttons his cufflinks, rolls up his sleeves, and in a quick, decisive movement, extends both middle fingers towards his supporters with a big, shit-eating grin on his face.  Then he leaves, while the crowd looks around in confusion, their Romney swag suddenly feeling heavy and awkward, having lost some of its magic.

Good riddance.  See ya.